I wish I wasn't too nice for manipulation...

Ok, so I have a dilemma. My boyfriend wants to shave the scruff off his face, and I need to convince him not to do it. We've only known each other for around two months now, and I've never seen him without scruff. What if he looks completely different clean-shaven? What if it's a turn off? This is completely unfair to him and irrational, I know. But he started talking about shaving and it made me feel panicky. It's a sign. The pseudo-beard must stay.

I'm one of those crazy people who is incredibly attracted to beards. And none of this half-ass goatee bullshit. Nah, I'm talking full, luscious, Amish-style, mother fucking BEARDS, ya dig? I think Jesse (aforementioned boyfriend) is starting to become aware of this. Actually, he might be suffering from beard envy as a direct result of my obsession with facial hair. His best friend has a killer beard, and I asked him if I could tug on it the first time I met him. I'm a horrible person, yes, and also very insane, apparently.

It's his [adorable] face, and he can do whatever he wants with it. I get that. But he also has this idea in his head that he should keep the mustache. You can't separate the beard and the mustache! That's like taking the Christ out of Christmas. X-mas=X-stache?!? (I realize that joke doesn't make sense mathematically, but the indignation people feel for the whole "X-mas" thing makes me giggle.) But anyways, faces with mustaches that ride solo are faces I cannot trust. What are you trying to hide, sir?

Okay, I feel like I can conclude this post with some semi-sanity. Jesse's facial hair is irrelevant. It's just easier dedicating my time to thinking about things like this, as opposed to thinking about how I like him so much it's pathetic. I could go on forever about this (just ask my friends), so I'll stop there. But it's just insane for me to really feel this way about anybody. Because it's not just attraction, compatibility, whatever; it's feeling comfortable. I just hope he doesn't get sick of all the stupid shit I say anytime soon. Oh, and I also hope he's not just using me for sex. That's something.